Find confidence and joy in your relationships and sex life.

Why hire a coach?

There’s a lot of pressure to be an incredible lover, trusted communicator, and everything in between — but we are rarely taught these skills or given an opportunity to expand our beliefs and expertise about sex and relationships in a safe, nonjudgmental and confidential setting.

Instead, we’re told that sex, and our sexuality, are unwanted or even shameful – we’re too much, not enough, and definitely not ‘normal.’ And because our world has very restricted definitions of ‘appropriate’ sex and desire, many of us feel isolated in our eroticism.

Coaching can offer tools and resources to help you expand your capacity for intimacy and connection, navigate unrealistic cultural sexpectations, and enhance the pleasure in your life.

You may be wondering if this is for you.

  • Do you wish there were more to the pleasure and intimacy you are currently experiencing?

  • Do you wonder why the fairy tale hasn’t happened yet or worked out for you?

  • Do you want to become a better lover and feel more confident during sex?

  • Is it hard to ask for what you want or need, either in or out of the bedroom?

  • Are you stuck in your head with performance anxiety, negative body image or a loud inner critic?

  • Do you feel isolated and ashamed of your desires?

  • Are there topics you don’t feel comfortable discussing with a therapist?

What clients from CB are saying:

“I can tell Lyla anything. Anything! And know that she won’t judge me, she won’t try to change me, she just accepts me.”
— T, in his 70s
“Lyla draws people into their freedom.”
— N, in their 50s
“I really appreciate how cared about and seen you make me feel in our connection. I don’t ever feel like your respect for me is compromised even by me sharing wounds and weaknesses and as a man I can’t tell you how hard that is to find.”
— S, in his 30s

To achieve your intimacy goals, our coaching journey will follow a personalized yet structured path:

Discovery

Our online sessions are a safe and confidential place to play, express and explore the full landscape of who you are. To learn what really works for you, we will unlock your innermost desires and reclaim what’s essential about you: your real needs, authentic boundaries, deepest longings and truest nature. Within our relationship, we will also discover any patterns of behavior that might be preventing you from having more connected, pleasurable and fulfilling relationships.

Connection

The coaching relationship is collaborative and mutually vulnerable. We will use our connection as an empowering, playful container for you to gain agency, competence and confidence in your relationships and sex life. As we work together, you have the opportunity to receive real-time, constructive feedback on the most fundamental parts of your life – connection with another person. You will learn about yourself and your impact on others in an honest, loving way.

Practice

Sex and relationship coaching is a call to action. Unlike traditional talk therapy, you have the opportunity to practice skills and increase your confidence. I will use our connection to help you learn how to have authentic, honest and boundaried intimacy. How do we learn to initiate a conversation about boundaries, quiet our inner critic, or ask our partner to fulfill a fantasy? By learning, trying, and practicing. Because experience is the best teacher.

What we will cover:

  • Desire

    When you think about exhilarating, deeply gratifying sex, what do you imagine? Many of us have an idea, but aren’t exactly sure. Some of us know precisely what we want, but either have trouble asking for it or finding partners to help us get there. Many of us feel stuck in the gray area between what we think we’re ‘supposed’ to want, and what we actually yearn for. And occasionally, getting what we crave doesn’t feel quite as good as we had hoped or imagined.

    Desire is complex, vulnerable and sometimes unpredictable. It can be hard to stay connected to our desire, especially when we don’t feel on the same page as our partner(s). I can help you uncover the depths of your desires, accept them, and teach others how to take you there.

  • Authenticity

    We are all taught a story about who we are and what life is supposed to be about. To preserve this socially-acceptable projection of worth and lovability, we hide pieces of ourselves, dismiss our instincts, betray our needs and undermine our desires. Over time, our hearts and bodies can begin to break from the loss of ourselves.

    What you choose to value is valuable, and you can have a vibrant life just by being yourself. You are the expert on what you need, how much you need, and when you need it. And when you align your actions and values with your inner truth, you will find a deep sense of integrity, purpose, peace and pleasure. As your coach, I am here to support you in finding the right path for you with as much love, gentleness and acceptance as possible.

  • Shame

    There is nothing deeper about the human experience than intimacy and shared connection. It is a place where we can find true affirmation of who we are, why we matter and what makes us worthy. But because our world has very restricted definitions of ‘appropriate’ sex and arousal, most of us feel ashamed and isolated in our eroticism. Sexual shame causes us to mute our desires and submerge our longings, because we believe they are inherently bad, unwelcome or unacceptable.

    There is no ‘normal’ way to love or be with someone. In our sessions, we will embrace and reclaim your eroticism as a beautiful, worthwhile expression of who you are. I will support you in finding safe and consensual ways to have the most fulfilling, healing and hottest sex possible for you.

  • Communication

    Many of us long to feel close to our loved ones but instead find ourselves struggling with distance and disconnection. Fear of conflict or rejection can keep us from having difficult conversations, especially if we didn’t grow up with caring models of communication and relationship repair.

    I can help you build skills that facilitate closeness and connection as you navigate the misunderstandings and miscommunications that inevitably arise in a relationship. These tools will help you talk openly and honestly about your desires, share boundaries in a loving way, negotiate new experiences or fantasies, and receive one another without judgment, guilt, or the pressure to fulfill any needs outside of your comfort or capacity.

  • I can also help you with:

    • Initiating conversations around boundaries and consent
    • Rekindling passion in a long-term relationship
    • Navigating lack of confidence or negative body image
    • Overcoming performance anxiety
    • Clarifying your relationship to porn and masturbation
    • Non-monogamy and opening up a relationship
    • Exploring kink and BDSM
    • Building resilience around jealousy, dating and rejection
    • Expanding your sexual repertoire

    In a world that teaches us that sex is a luxury and we should be grateful for what we’ve got, there are so many reasons we might not yet be thriving.

No matter your age, your relationship or sexual experience, it is never too late, too silly or too selfish to work on deepening the intimacy in your life.