Hi! I’m Lyla. I can help you thrive in your explorations of sex and love.

Why work with a coach?

There’s a lot of pressure to be an incredible lover, trusted communicator, and everything in between — but we are rarely taught these skills or given an opportunity to expand our beliefs and expertise about sex and relationships in a safe, nonjudgmental and confidential setting.

Instead, we’re told that sex, and our sexuality, are unwanted or even shameful – we’re too much, not enough, and definitely not ‘normal.’ And because our world has very restricted definitions of what’s ‘appropriate,’ many of us feel isolated in our desires.

Coaching can offer tools and resources to help you expand your capacity for intimacy and connection, navigate unrealistic cultural sexpectations, enhance pleasure, overcome shame, and live a positively erotic life.

You may be wondering if this is for you.

Do you want to become a better lover and feel more confident during sex?
Are you stuck in your head with performance anxiety, negative body image or a loud inner critic?
Do you wish there were more to the pleasure and intimacy you are currently experiencing?
Is it hard to ask for what you want or need, either in or out of the bedroom?
Do you wonder why the fairy tale hasn’t happened yet or worked out for you?
Do you feel alone, and ashamed of your desires?
Are there topics you don’t feel comfortable discussing with a therapist?

It is never too late, too silly or too selfish to deepen the intimacy in your life.

To achieve your goals, our coaching journey will follow a personalized yet structured path:

Our online sessions are a safe and confidential place to play, express and explore the full landscape of who you are. Together we will unlock your innermost desires and reclaim what’s essential about you: your real needs, authentic boundaries, deepest longings and truest nature. Within our coaching relationship, we will also discover any patterns of behavior that might be preventing you from having more connected, pleasurable and fulfilling relationships.

Discovery

The coaching relationship is collaborative and mutually vulnerable. We will use our connection as an empowering, playful container for you to gain agency, competence and confidence in your relationships and sex life. As we work together, you have the opportunity to receive real-time, constructive feedback on the most fundamental parts of your life – connection with another person. You will learn about yourself and your impact on others in an honest, loving way.

Connection

Sex and relationship coaching is a call to action. Unlike traditional talk therapy, you have the opportunity to practice skills and increase your confidence. I will use our connection to help you learn how to have authentic, honest and boundaried intimacy. How do we learn to initiate a conversation about boundaries, quiet our inner critic, or ask our partner to fulfill a fantasy? By learning, trying, and practicing. Because experience is the best teacher.

Practice

I work exclusively with clients I meet on Chaturbate. Here’s what they have to say:

T, in his 70s

“Lyla is my good friend, confidant, counselor, consultant and a highly intelligent individual that can help me sort things out. I can tell her *anything*. And know that she won't judge me, she won't try to change me, she just accepts me.”

N, in their 50s

“Lyla draws people into their freedom.”

S, in his 30s

“I really appreciate how cared about and seen you make me feel in our connection. I don't ever feel like your respect for me is compromised even by me sharing wounds and weaknesses and as a man I can't tell you how hard that is to find.”

Sex and relationship coaching is a therapeutic, experiential relationship between you and your coach, in service of your emotional and erotic expansion. In a session, you will learn and practice relationship tools and intimacy skills in real time, while receiving empathy, support, guidance and feedback. Actually practicing intimacy in a safe, boundaried and nonjudgmental environment is the key to gaining agency, competence and confidence in whatever areas of your relationship(s) and sex life that you want to work on.
Intimacy is learned, felt and understood through the body. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill to bypass the steps it takes to learn new skills, rewire old patterns of emotional reactivity, embody new ways of being, or change core beliefs about how sex and relationships are supposed to be. Experience is a better teacher than talk therapy when it comes to uncovering the full landscape of your sexuality and transforming the habits that no longer serve you.
In our work together, I will offer embodiment exercises — both educational and therapeutic — that emphasize your connection with your body, expand your inner wisdom, and increase your expertise in physical and emotional closeness. This hands-on, practical approach is grounded in the latest neuroscience: the more we think, feel and encounter a certain concept, the more likely it is to integrate into our experiences and worldview.
Everything we practice is done with mutual permission and consent. You have the right to stop or change anything we are doing, at any time, for any reason. I am committed to your agency, your safety, your comfort and your boundaries.
Absolutely. Sexuality, desire and fantasies are deeply personal, vulnerable, and sometimes touch our darker realms. Our coaching relationship is confidential and I prioritize your privacy. This includes not only our sessions, but any information that you share as part of our work together. Adhering to the strictest levels of confidentiality is part of my code of ethics as a sex and relationship coach. Apart from financial records, I will not keep any identifying information about you or our work together. If I am working with you as a couple, I will never share any information with your partner(s) that we discuss in individual sessions.
For your safety and convenience, all sessions are held virtually. Working online allows me to support individuals anywhere in the world and with different abilities. It can offer a unique sense of safety for those who may be hesitant about this work, wish to remain anonymous, or are less comfortable with intimacy and connection.
For our sessions, it’s best if we can arrange a time where you have the privacy to speak freely, and won’t be interrupted. Although it is helpful for me to see your facial expressions and hear your voice, some of my clients (initially) prefer not to be on camera.
Intimacy coaching sessions are highly individualized, but follow a structured (yet flexible) format. After we have gotten to know one another and collaboratively set goals for our work together, a typical session might include:
• Exploration and body awareness using breathwork and visualization to expand your connection to your emotions, eroticism, physical sensations and inner experiences.
• Dialogue and reflection as we examine the messages and expectations you may have internalized about sex and relationships, including how they may be impacting the intimacy in your life. We can talk about anything, including topics you may never before have felt comfortable (or safe) to ask or share.
• Education and skill building to learn practical skills and techniques that enhance communication, emotional connection and sexual expertise.
• Experiential practices designed to integrate new ways of being and relating into your lived experience. Through experiential learning, you have the opportunity to rewire unhelpful patterns, embody new behaviors, heal old wounds and expand your intimacy worldview.
• Integration and takeaways where we discuss how any new insights might be incorporated into your life and relationships moving forward.
Our online sessions are a safe, supportive space to build a vocabulary between your mind, body and eroticism, and learn to share that language in your relationships and sex life.

FAQs